How To Dress For The Airport, By Lady Gaga
It's summer, so you might be going on vacation soon. Don't look like a fool at the airport, follow Lady Gaga's rules and you'll look perfect for flying.
Wear a hat with a window in it.
So that if you have an aisle seat, you can still look out of something.
Wear a beehive on your head
Perfect for hiding liquids!
Wear pants that will let your legs breathe
It gets hot in those cabins.
Wear a ball gown.
Flying is fancy, dress as such.
Wear 3D glasses.
All the better to watch inflight movies with.
Wear a mask
It's very likely everyone else on the flight will also be wearing masks and then you'll have a masquerade ball in the air.
Wear Neon green and a giant weave
To blend in with the crowd.
Wear a full leather ensemble with a bow in your hair.
Again, for blending in.
Wear a mosquito net around your face
So that the bugs on the airplane don't bother you.
Wear a ballerina skirt
Sooooooooo pretttyyy.
Wear 10 inch heels
They still leave you with 20 inches of legroom!
Wear a winged-sailor dress
IDK WHY.
Wear your hair in a giant rainbow side ponytail
TSA loves giant rainbow side pony tails!
Wear a large potato sack with words on it
Perfect for smuggling potatoes through borders.
Wear all green
Green goes great with sky blue.
Wear soda can hair rollers
Regular hair rollers are for people who drive in cars.
Only wear a jacket
They give out pants on most Delta flights.
Wear a caution tape dress
Beware: flying awesomely!
Wear see through stockings and flip the bird
That's how you get through security.
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